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Pleasure Stories: The fine line between after care and mixed signals

Kim is hopelessly in love with love and everything involved. Curious about everything the world has to offer her, she looks for answers. She tells on Let’s Peep what she discovers and likes to link it to the bigger picture.

I introduced my theory to him while performing the material myself. Boys and men would hug for themselves and women for the other person, this would be the origin of all mixed signals in casual dating. Of course he agreed, as he was one of those koala huggers. Way before, he told me once that many girls confused his sweet gestures for something else. Bringing chocolate when someone had their period would only be done by guys who were in love, right? Yes, and cuddling after sex as if life depended on it is also something guys only do if you stole their heart.

Cuddling after sex as after care was in my early days something I easily waved off while lying on my stomach next to my partner with at least 5 inches between us. Simply returning to the friendly chatting at a safe un-emotionally charged distance. It couldn’t have been clearer for them or for me. Finally a “if you prefer to sleep at home, it’s okay” and then they would back off. Whether they really preferred to sleep at home I would never know, but I didn’t care. I didn’t need anything from my casual bed-visitors, let alone cuddles.

Being single for the first time, I allowed many guys to hug me. With a huge emphasis on the “letting” part. Despite easily sharing myself socially and sexually, I saved “sweet Kim” for special occasions. These special occasions happened to a few individuals, after which – sooner or later – I always had to wonder why their cuddling didn’t match their actions. How could they cuddle me like that, when I could be thrown aside if it didn’t work out anyway? I wasn’t the only one, I noticed more women asking these questions around me. Girls who felt so connected to someone and were hugged after sex as if they were completely in love, but then treated as if nothing had ever happened.

After one relationship and being single for a second time, I still keep my “sweet Kim”. Not because I’m afraid of being hurt, but because not everyone deserves her. One of the first dates after the break-up was more fun than I expected, but neither of us felt any romance. Until he also went full koala mode and I didn’t understand any of it. When I asked him if he was always like that on first dates, he replied very casually that he just did what felt right and didn’t care. It didn’t have to be so emotional. It was that simple. Why was it never that way before? I thought I always made it as low-key as possible by avoiding all “loaded actions” but what if that pressure comes from what I make of those actions myself?

Of course I couldn’t help comparing his casual attitude to all the cuddly boys I had seen before him and so my theory was born. Men – according to me – would get more out of life, would therefore claim things more easily than women and so in a heterosexual relationship a man would also claim love more easily without thinking about the possible meaning for a woman. A woman for whom not everything just happens and therefore she thinks that there are higher forces behind everything that comes her way. Why else would she get it? In my case: the whole issue of cuddling.

When I later shared my theory with a friend, she disagreed, as she was also guilty of reckless cuddling. She had cuddled with one of her guyfriends that week as if she was serious. So my feminist comparison was completely pointless. The second half of my theory was proven when less than two weeks later the poor guy declared his love to my friend who only allowed his hugs for a selfish moment. Human and natural motives, but without clear communication, motives that can lead to mixed signals and broken hearts.

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Een erogene zone, ook wel hotspot genoemd, is een plek op je lichaam die bij aanraking seksuele gevoelens kan opwekken. Erogene zones hebben veel zenuwuiteinden en zijn daarom erg gevoelig. Sommige erogene zones, zoals je tepels, staan ook in verbinding met de geslachtsorganen. Dit soort voor extra opwinding. Aanraking van de erogene zones verhoogt de seksuele spanning, intimiteit en het plezier.  Ook is het mogelijk dat je eerder een orgasme bereikt door de aanrakingen!

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Wij geloven in glijmiddel; heel erg goed glijmiddel. Wat onze glijmiddel zo bijzonder maakt? Het heeft exact de juiste textuur, verpakt in een mooi flesje, en is makkelijk te gebruiken door het handige doseer pompje. Let’s Peep zegt: Let’s get ‘down’ to business!

Maar, onze honger naar meer spetterende producten is nooit gestild. Dus je kunt er de donder op zeggen dat je hier in de toekomst meer moois kunt vinden.

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